If I understand this story correctly, it seems Randy Wolf is going to have surgery on his John Thomas. I don't see what that has to do with baseball, but we all hope he gets well soon.

Damn.

I got really excited when I saw the headline Rays Call Up Gomes, Cash, Corcoran. Wayne Gomes was back!



But alas, it was some other Gomes.

phreddy (1:07:08 PM): d00d 10 in a row for the natties?
phreddy (1:07:14 PM): what are they shitting
phrank (1:07:31 PM): it makes the philberts' 6 in a row look like the pathetic showing it is
phreddy (1:07:36 PM): yes
phreddy (1:07:51 PM): but they had two six in a row streaks on the home stand didn't they?
phrank (1:08:29 PM): yeah, they had a 12-1 run
phrank (1:08:46 PM): they've won 15 out of their last 17
phreddy (1:08:53 PM): without barry bonds steroid bloated penis, the san francisco homosexuals are failing it
phreddy (1:09:19 PM): they have won 36 out of their last 64
phrank (1:09:28 PM): they have not lost a series since may 11
phrank (1:09:32 PM): holy shit!
phreddy (1:09:35 PM): thome is hitting
phrank (1:09:39 PM): it's me and Phaith!
phreddy (1:09:42 PM): what
phrank (1:09:46 PM): we got together on may 12
phrank (1:09:56 PM): since then the philberts have been unstoppable
phreddy (1:10:00 PM): wow
phrank (1:10:07 PM): everything's coming up phrank
phreddy (1:10:10 PM): your unholy union has caused them to become the philberts they are on paper

phrank (10:57:01 PM): 3RD PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
phreddy (10:57:10 PM): yes'm
phreddy (10:57:18 PM): omg teh philberts!
phrank (10:57:29 PM): 1 game out of first AND THE WILDCARD
phreddy (10:57:48 PM): nice
phreddy (10:58:05 PM): byrd is back to .318
phreddy (10:58:07 PM): well
phreddy (10:58:08 PM): down to
phrank (10:58:09 PM): victorino!
phrank (10:58:24 PM): a gay dame tomorrow against the snakes
phreddy (10:58:32 PM): indeed
phrank (10:58:32 PM): as the phightins try to make it a sweep
phrank (10:59:11 PM): then they host their archrivals, the texas warmongers
phreddy (10:59:27 PM): indeed
phrank (10:59:39 PM): in a series sure to be cared about by no one
phreddy (10:59:57 PM): haha
phrank (11:00:28 PM): I'm sure someone does
phreddy (11:00:34 PM): First time a Washington-based team was in first since 1933
phrank (11:01:23 PM): neither the bravos nor the nationalists play tomorrow
phrank (11:01:43 PM): so the best the philberts can do is move percentage points behind the bravos and 0.5 behind the nationalists
phrank (11:02:33 PM): if the BJ's beat the bearcubs, the philberts will be percentage points behind them for the wildcard lead
phreddy (11:03:09 PM): nice
phreddy (11:03:16 PM): i truly am excited for teh philberts
phreddy (11:03:26 PM): it truly is a great time to be alive
phreddy (11:03:37 PM): all of a sudden lieberthal and bell don't suck
phrank (11:04:06 PM): heh
phrank (11:04:54 PM): chris burke saw even more than this
phreddy (11:05:13 PM): that's leann?
phreddy (11:05:25 PM): busta would not be happy
phrank (11:05:43 PM): busta?
phreddy (11:06:03 PM): busta rimes
phrank (11:06:20 PM): hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes, big like leean rimes, because I'm all about value
phrank (11:06:34 PM): bert kaempfert's got the mad hits, you try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through
phreddy (11:06:40 PM): indeed
phreddy (11:06:46 PM): who is bert kaempfert?
phrank (11:07:56 PM): I was quoting Barenaked Assclowns

.500, Chris Burke

phreddy: omg phrank
phreddy: how about those philberts
phrank: these are the philberts I have come to know and love
phreddy: no they aren't
phrank: even stevens
phreddy: isn't this their first time at .500 since 1-1
phrank: never taking more than they give
phreddy: haha
phreddy: d00d
phrank: Baseball Prospectus gives them a 17.26% shot at the NL East crown
phrank: I like how J-Roll's offensive tear has raised his OBP to a glorious .320
phreddy: the astros called up chris burke
phreddy: ha
phrank: Chris Burke starred in 1992's Jonathan: The Boy Nobody Wanted
phrank: I'll give you three guesses as to which character he played
phreddy: i did not know that
phreddy: he was in mona lisa smile!
phreddy: Custodian
phrank: http://www.chrisburke.org/
phreddy: The Phillies are 18-9 when Rollins crosses the plate and 7-18 when he doesn't (in his starts).
phreddy: he's in jersey!
phreddy: he's on touched by an angel?
phreddy: he's one of america's favorite personalities?
phreddy: he was in 2 episodes of touched by an angel

phreddy: oh my god
phreddy: this is bad
phreddy: http://www.fortunecity.com/millenium/treearbor/207/wavs.html
phrank: you've got mail!
phreddy: haha
phreddy: welcome!
phrank: I've got mail! I've got mail! I've got mail! I've got mail! Yay!
phreddy: haha
phrank: that was the best Special Ed routine ever
phreddy: his goodbye isn't too good
phreddy: it's mostly white noise
phrank: I wonder if he posted those wav files before or after Crank Yankers aired that sketch

phreddy: chris with leeann rines!
phrank: he totally banged her
phreddy: his picture with leeann looks really funny
phreddy: his eyes are completely black
phreddy: beady
phreddy: and he's not really that strange looking
phrank: hot like leean rimes, because I'm all about value
phreddy: rines
phrank: I hate patti lupone so much
phreddy: http://www.arcms.org/Tory%20perorming%20with%20Chris%20Burke.jpg
phreddy: why
phrank: every time I go to new york I see a poster of her and I want to jump in front of a taxi
phreddy: haha
phrank: look at leeann in that picture
phrank: she is totally ready to give it up
phreddy: haha
phrank: and you know Burke is the master of sympathy sex
phrank: the father from Life Goes On was a bad guy on 24 this season
phreddy: i see
phreddy: you are going to hell
phrank: why?
phreddy: making fun of the mongoloid
phrank: I was making fun of rimes
phrank: saying he took advantage of her
phrank: that is not making fun of him